Small Mistakes have great consequences. The world learnt this the hard way.
This tale begins at a little meetup of few people at an Italian restaurant. They were the worshippers of the flying spaghetti monster. It started out as a meme; A bunch of people creating their own religion as a joke. They loved spaghetti a lot, naturally and met up every Sunday to discuss their religion. When it became a worldwide phenomenon, no one knows. It was huge, they sold FSM merchandise, had events, every major newspaper wrote about them. People liked it, it was a playful rejection of religion, ironically by accepting another religion.
It all changed though, when some smart-arse on the internet committed what they considered the ultimate form of blasphemy. He made an anonymous video of himself breaking spaghetti, right in the middle, before boiling it. Oh, the uproar it caused. Thousands of sphagettians across the world came out on the streets. Something that had started as a meme had gone too far now. There were protests, violent ones in some places, seemingly against nothing. It was just angry people wanting to know the identity of the blasphemer. Governments, not knowing how to deal with this, tried to suppress them, but that just added fuel to the fire.
They were convinced that they could not live among the non-believers, so they decided to crowdfund an entire island for themselves. Over the next few weeks, hundreds of billions of dollars were raised on the internet. Many celebrities, youtubers and other famous people came out in support of the movement. There was a mass exodus of sphagettians to the island. It is estimated that about 10 million people across the world emigrated from their countries. They demanded to be recognized as a nation; They were, but their ambitions did not stop there. They called upon many scientists from across the world to come and join their holy conquest. Why scientists? You ask. To achieve their final dream. What was the dream? A pilgrimage. Where? Into a fucking black hole.
Now, there’s a phenomenon called spaghettification, where you're basically stretched out like spaghetti inside a black hole, before your quiet death inside a black hole. What could be more holy for spaghetti fanatics than dying as spaghetti themselves. You might think this is a sick joke, something as stupid as this can only exist in a bad writer’s imagination, but no. Oh, no! They thought of it.
They offered huge grants to scientists. Some came willingly, others were apprehended. One of them had developed some kind of mind virus. Not much is known about it, but it made people lose autonomy according to the people who survived. For the next ten years, thousands of astrophysicists, engineers, biologists, and researchers of various other disciplines worked on a way to reach a black hole, enter it and die by elongation. Of course, for them it didn’t end there. The closest blackhole to the earth is called the Unicorn, but it is still a thousand five hundred light years away. We think they must naturally have gone there.
Not much is known about what happened to them since. There were reports of several rockets launching within a span of months and all the scientists that had disappeared began resurfacing around the world. They were all deeply disturbed and traumatized. The mind virus’ effects will probably last a lifetime.
Satellite image of the island shows a deserted land with extremely advanced technology, reminiscent of a Percy Shelly poem. As if they were saying, “Look at our works, ye mighty and despair.”
The UN plans on conducting a recon operation next month. There are theories that the Spaghettians were a suicide cult and killed themselves in underground bunkers. They are right, they were a suicide cult, just more elaborate in their methods. Many countries have banned literature around the FSM and spaghetti is the world’s favorite dish at the moment. For some people it represents the delusion of the spaghettians and for others their fate. Some people find hope and courage in the spaghettians’ actions, courage to follow what they stood for. As for me, every time I see spaghetti, I die inside a little. I should have eaten my spaghetti like a normal person.